


To Feel Safe, To Feel Loved

by Lilac_Scented



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Porn, Begging, Biting, Bottom Kim Hongjoong, Comfort Sex, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Dom/sub Undertones, Explicit Consent, Hand Jobs, Kim Hongjoong is stressed, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, Overworking, Park Seonghwa is Whipped, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Scratching, Self-Doubt, Sobbing, Soft Park Seonghwa, Top Park Seonghwa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:20:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28676583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilac_Scented/pseuds/Lilac_Scented
Summary: When Hongjoong is this fragile, Seonghwa’s first instinct is to protect him and take care of him. He wants to give him anything and everything he needs, and Hongjoong knows it. He knows Seonghwa can’t say no to him if he asks him for something he wants, and right now, as tired as he is, Hongjoong wants more.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 9
Kudos: 144





	To Feel Safe, To Feel Loved

Seonghwa has always looked up to Hongjoong. Not only is he an amazing artist that seems to do well in every position and works hard everyday to improve, but also a strong person. Ever since Seonghwa joined the company, he wonders how Hongjoong was strong enough to stay and not give up, even when he was alone and there wasn’t much hope. Even now that he got to debut with the rest of the members, he doesn’t take it for granted and keeps pushing himself to be better, as well as helping the group too. Seonghwa admires him, but can’t help worrying sometimes. Hongjoong will probably not admit it and even avoid the topic, but he can see how tired he is. Seonghwa lets him be, though, and will wait until Hongjoong looks for him first.

At this point, although Seonghwa doesn’t approve of it, he’s used to Hongjoong coming home when the sun starts to rise. He has tried to convince Hongjoong that he needs to sleep more and that it’s not very healthy to work that much, but he hasn’t had much success. Hongjoong can be stubborn, and will always come up with an excuse or make up little lies to try and make Seonghwa believe he does get enough rest. Seonghwa doesn’t believe him.

As the sun starts to set, some of the members decide to go for a walk and eat something on their way, leaving only Seonghwa, Mingi and Yeosang home. The three members prepare something simple for dinner and, after eating together, each one of them goes to their respective room. Seonghwa decides to read a book while he waits for the rest of the members to come back home, enjoying the silence and peace in the house.

About two hours later, they come through the door, Wooyoung and Jongho directly going to lay on their beds while Yunho and San play some video games together in the living room. Seonghwa goes back to his book, not really sleepy enough to go to bed yet.

After a while of playing games, the sound of the front door opening draws San’s attention, and he’s surprised when he sees their leader walk in. He looks at the time: 11:24pm. Doesn’t Hongjoong come home way later than this?

“Oh, hyung, hi,” greets Yunho, slightly confused too.

“You’re back so early?” San asks.

The blue-haired man sighs, slowly walking towards the hallway. “Yeah, I was a bit tired.”

With no more questions, they go back to their games, and Hongjoong heads for his and Seonghwa’s room.

He opens the door, startling Seonghwa, who looks away from his book for a moment to recognize Hongjoong’s figure and smile, happy to see he’s home early for once. It’s not long until his smile drops, though, when Hongjoong closes the door behind him and looks up from the floor and into Seonghwa’s eyes. Seonghwa closes his book and places it on his nightstand, sitting on the bed and leaving a space for Hongjoong to sit in front of him. He can see Hongjoong is tired, but there’s something else in his eyes.

Hongjoong sits with Seonghwa, and after looking at him for a few seconds, unable to say anything, he just leans forward into his chest, wrapping his arms around him, small hands gripping his shirt tightly, and Seonghwa wraps one of his arms around Hongjoong’s back, his other hand coming to stroke his hair soothingly. The room is quiet, the only sound being Hongjoong’s breath becoming fast and shaky, as if he was holding back his tears, but when he hugs Seonghwa closer, Seonghwa knows he couldn’t hold it anymore.

“I’m so tired, Seonghwa,” he sobs. “Nothing works the way I want.”

Seonghwa remains silent, but it’s not awkward. Hongjoong feels safe with him, and Seonghwa lets him get all his negative feelings out first, without interrupting him. He knows Hongjoong wants to be heard, he knows he needs someone to listen to him and hold him for a moment, and Seonghwa does just that.

It happens more often than either of them would like to admit, but even if Hongjoong is strong, he can also be quite fragile, and after a while of pretending everything is going well, he breaks, but Seonghwa is always there for him when that happens.

Recently, he’s been frustrated with his work. Writing lyrics and producing new songs has become difficult, his ideas don’t seem to be good enough, he doesn’t like the results, and he feels stuck. On top of that, those feelings bother him when he needs to do other things, like during dance lessons, and he can’t concentrate, causing him to make mistakes and even get scolded sometimes. Hongjoong can’t come to an answer other than him just not being good enough. These kinds of thoughts bother him more and more often, and the responsibility of being the leader of the group only makes things worse for him. He needs a little break, someone to be in charge for him from time to time.

Hongjoong pulls away from Seonghwa’s chest and looks at him again, eyes glassy and nose red, not sure of what to say.

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa calls softly, “what do you need?”

Hongjoong sniffles. “I… I need you.”

His voice comes out quiet, weak, but it’s enough for Seonghwa. He leans forward to give Hongjoong’s lips a quick yet sweet kiss, gently wiping his tears away. Seonghwa kisses him a couple more times, helping Hongjoong relax.

Seonghwa’s hands move down to take the end of the leader’s hoodie in his fingers and looks into his eyes. “Can I?”

Hongjoong nods softly, raising his arms so that Seonghwa can take his hoodie and shirt off, changing positions and leaning back against the pillows, the other man hovering over him, his hands on each side of Hongjoong’s head. Seonghwa kisses him again, this time biting his lower lip gently, coaxing Hongjoong to open his mouth and let Seonghwa’s tongue in, deepening the kiss. The leader whimpers timidly, hands curling into balls on Seonghwa’s shirt. One of Seonghwa’s hands move to hold Hongjoong’s chin for a moment before sliding down to his neck, stroking his shoulder and then stopping on his chest, where his thumb brushes against Hongjoong’s nipple. The blue-haired man gasps into the kiss, and it only makes Seonghwa want to do it again. Instead, he softly pinches the nub this time, and Hongjoong whines shyly, almost embarrassed of making noise.

Seonghwa’s hand continues to move down the leader’s body, shivers running down Hongjoong’s spine when it grazes the soft skin of his waist and then stops at his crotch, palming him through his pants. Hongjoong moans quietly, his fingers flying to the back of Seonghwa’s head to play with his hair.

“Seonghwa,” whines Hongjoong, and that’s enough for Seonghwa to know what he wants.

The gray-haired man connects their lips once more in a slow, loving kiss, and takes his time unbuttoning Hongjoong’s pants and taking them off, dropping them on the floor next to the bed. Seonghwa breaks the kiss to look at the smaller man, asking for permission in silence, and Hongjoong nods again, his cheeks red from crying and slight embarrassment, feeling so exposed when Seonghwa is still fully dressed, but he doesn't mind, Hongjoong likes when Seonghwa looks at him like that, like he’s the most delicate thing his eyes have ever seen.

Seonghwa takes the leader’s underwear off and wraps his fingers around his half-hard cock, slowly moving his hand up and down as he starts kissing Hongjoong’s neck, taking in the chamomile scent of his body wash on his skin. 

Seonghwa takes it slow, completely focused on Hongjoong and what he needs. It isn't really long until Seonghwa notices Hongjoong softly whining, looking at him with pleading eyes, and he can tell exactly what's on the leader's mind. It certainly isn’t the first time this happens, not even close, so they can easily understand each other’s needs without the need of words. Just one look can be enough for them.

The hand pleasuring Hongjoong moves to his cheek, caressing it with his knuckles. "Just one second, okay?" Seonghwa murmurs before standing up and walking across the room towards one of his drawers, taking a small bottle of lube with him and coming back to sit on the bed next to Hongjoong.

The blue-haired man waits patiently, staring at Seonghwa while he covers a few of his fingers with the clear, sticky liquid. Seonghwa looks back at him for reassurance, and when Hongjoong nods and whispers a needy ' _ please _ ', Seonghwa has to hold himself from giving him a passionate, bruising kiss. In its place, he brings his middle finger to circle his leader's rim, teasing him for just a couple seconds before pushing it inside, slowly, carefully, causing Hongjoong to gasp at the feeling of being stretched.

Seonghwa thrusts the digit in and out of Hongjoong's pliant body, taking his time and making sure not to overwhelm him. Small breathy moans come out of the leader's pretty lips, and he can't help but to buck his hips up every now and then. This, of course, doesn't go unnoticed by his partner, who takes his other hand to stroke Hongjoong's length just like before, nice and slow, just enough for Hongjoong to moan his name a bit louder. Seonghwa hums, eyes paying attention to any detail that could tell him what Hongjoong wants.

Hongjoong holds back a moan. "Feels good."

"Is it okay like this?"

"One more, please," the smaller man asks, arousal evident in his voice, but still soft and slightly broken.

Seonghwa does as Hongjoong says, and gently adds another finger, his other hand still moving at a slow pace. He can see precome starting to leak down from the tip of Hongjoong's cock, and swipes his index finger over it to smear the fluid around the head, making Hongjoong whine, already sensitive to his touch.

The taller man fucks his fingers into Hongjoong deeper and deeper each time, scissoring them inside him and softly brushing his most sensitive spots. When he deems him ready, he decides to add another finger and Hongjoong barely hisses at the stretch, an intoxicating mix of pleasure and just the right amount of pain. Seonghwa drags his finger over the head of Hongjoong's dick once again to distract him from the burn of the stretch, satisfied when a high-pitched noise comes out of his mouth and his fists tighten around the bedsheets.

After barely a minute of Seonghwa thrusting the three fingers into Hongjoong, the leader's breathing becomes increasingly fast as well as his noises louder, and one of his small hands comes to grab Seonghwa's wrist, making him stop his movements immediately.

The rapper gasps for air, trying to calm down, lips parted and cheeks flushed. "Slow down," he breathes out. "Please, just your fingers. Don't wanna come yet."

Seonghwa follows his instructions, Hongjoong's needs always being the priority for him.

The taller man works his fingers inside Hongjoong even slower than before, letting him calm down before gradually going back to the slightly quicker pace he had at first. Hongjoong is sensitive, and it's just a few moments until he starts squirming around. Seonghwa knows he's close, trying to hold his orgasm back, and he keeps going, waiting for any command, for anything Hongjoong may ask from him.

Hongjoong moans loudly and his back arches off the bed, a desperate plea coming out of him. "Stop, please, stop".

Seonghwa freezes. He knows Hongjoong, and there was no sign that he was uncomfortable. He scans his body once again, trying to find an answer. Nothing. Hongjoong can see how worry starts to crawl onto Seonghwa’s face, it’s visible in his eyes, and he needs to take a deep breath before he speaks up again.

"Seonghwa," Hongjoong calls, voice weak and barely audible. "I don't wanna come like this."

Seonghwa looks at him confused.

"I want you to fuck me, Seonghwa."

The man lets out a relieved sigh, but there's still concern in his expression. This isn't about him.

"Are you sure that is what you want?" he asks.

"Please, I need you close to me, I need to feel you. Please, fuck me."

There's a second of silence before Seonghwa leans in to kiss Hongjoong, softly biting on his lower lip, licking inside his mouth, tasting him. Hongjoong moans into the kiss and wraps his arms around Seonghwa's neck.

Against his will, Seonghwa breaks the kiss and takes off his shirt over his head, moving to sit between Hongjoong's legs. He unbuttons and unzips his pants but keeps them on, and a hand reaches into his black boxer briefs to pull out his already hard cock. He gives it a few strokes and hisses from finally being able to touch himself. It certainly isn't the first time Hongjoong has seen Seonghwa like this, in fact, he probably has memorized every detail on the older’s body, but he can't keep his mouth from watering at the sight.

Seonghwa takes the lube bottle he had previously used and pours some more on his hand, wrapping it around his cock again and letting out a breathy moan from both the liquid being cold against him and his hand moving up and down on his length. Hongjoong watches every movement in silence, captivated.

The gray-haired man shifts between Hongjoong’s legs and looks at him, the latter snapping and now paying attention to him. “Are you really sure this is what you want?” Seonghwa asks softly but firm.

Hongjoong only nods, almost becoming impatient.

“I need words, Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong smiles. “Yes, Seonghwa, I want this.”

“You know you can tell me if it’s too much or if you want to stop at any moment, right?”

“I know,” whispers Hongjoong. He has heard the same thing over and over again, but it always makes him feel warm and safe. The leader wraps his arms around Seonghwa’s neck and pulls him down. “Now, please, fuck me,” he says over his lips before kissing him sweetly.

As they kiss, Seonghwa slowly enters Hongjoong’s body, making him whine into his mouth when the tip of Seonghwa’s cock pushes past his rim. The older takes a small break, making sure Hongjoong isn’t overwhelmed, and only keeps going once Hongjoong rolls his hips underneath him. They kiss slowly, lovingly, and Hongjoong can almost forget why he is in Seonghwa’s bed in the first place. They stay like that for a moment, so close to each other that their slightly heavy breathings can mix together.

Seonghwa pushes in deeper, taking his time, until he bottoms out, and Hongjoong’s body jerks slightly, feeling close again just from being full. He whines Seonghwa’s name and holds onto him, nails digging into the older’s back, but not hard enough for it to really hurt. Seonghwa wants to move, he wants to fuck Hongjoong just like he asked him to, but he keeps himself from thrusting into the leader’s shaky body and leans forward to kiss his forehead instead, hoping to help Hongjoong calm down. Hongjoong tries his best to breathe and relax, but Seonghwa’s hot, throbbing cock inside him is distracting. It takes him a few moments to calm down and let the older know he can start moving.

Finally, Seonghwa rolls his hips once, tentatively, and Hongjoong moans softly, encouraging the other to keep going, now setting a slow and sensual pace. The blue-haired man can feel every inch of Seonghwa’s dick sliding in and out of him, and his mind threatens to get foggy and floaty, but he tries his best not to let it, to keep focused on Seonghwa, his beautiful body, his handsome face with that soft expression he only gets to see in moments like this, and the way he makes him feel so good with so little. He scratches the older’s back to ground himself, a small hiss coming from Seonghwa’s lips just as his hips stutter, and he instinctively thrusts slightly faster. 

Hongjoong’s fingernails leave pinkish marks down Seonghwa’s shoulder blades, which only makes it harder for Seonghwa to hold back from fucking him harder. The older allows himself to pick up the pace just a little bit, grunting when Hongjoong clenches around him. Underneath him, Hongjoong can barely keep his eyes open, his lips are parted and a bit of drool threatens to slip out from the corner of his mouth. His moans are louder and slowly turn into sobs of pleasure every time Seonghwa pounds into him. His breathing is fast and uneven, slurred and unfinished words messily make their way out of him and something hot tightens in his gut. Hongjoong wants to warn him, to let him know how close he is, but it quickly becomes too much and only Seonghwa’s name makes it past his lips in a whiny moan as he squeezes his eyes shut and come shoots onto his stomach.

Seonghwa feels a fire start inside him, yet he doesn’t let himself give in, and keeps fucking Hongjoong at the same pace and then gradually slows down as the leader comes down from his orgasm. Hongjoong still has his eyes closed and his chest rises and falls as he tries to catch his breath, so Seonghwa thinks it’s better to give him a moment before he pulls out to clean Hongjoong up and let him rest, but a hand around his arm stops him.

“Keep going” Hongjoong whispers. He opens his eyes to look at Seonghwa’s, a mix of concern and surprise in them. “You still haven’t finished, keep going.”

“No, it’s fine, I’ll take care of it, but you need to rest now.” Seonghwa says in a soft tone. “You’ve had a long day.”

“Seonghwa,  _ please. _ ”

When Hongjoong is this fragile, Seonghwa’s first instinct is to protect him and take care of him. He wants to give him anything and everything he needs, and Hongjoong knows it. He knows Seonghwa can’t say no to him if he asks him for something he wants, and right now, as tired as he is, Hongjoong wants more.

Seonghwa takes a deep breath and lets it out almost in defeat, but a smile grows on his face. “You always get away with what you want, don’t you?”

The older man kisses Hongjoong’s nose, making him giggle, and then kisses those shiny and plump lips he loves so much. He could never get tired of them. The kiss is suddenly interrupted by Hongjoong gasping, his back arching when Seonghwa rolls his hips again and starts picking up the pace. Seonghwa groans, Hongjoong feels even tighter around him now, and the leader whines in sensitivity, struggling to keep up with Seonghwa’s lips still on his own. It feels so good, so intense, and he grabs the sheets tightly, his vision turning blurry as tears start to gather in the corners of his eyes. He looks beautiful like this, and Seonghwa doesn’t dare look away for a second.

“Ah, Seonghwa, more,” Hongjoong whines out, “need more, please.”

Seonghwa grunts and snakes a hand down between their bodies, wrapping his fingers around Hongjoong’s small cock and stroking it in time with his thrusts, the leader writhing under his touch. The noises Hongjoong makes and the way he tightens around him make his hips stutter and soft groans vibrate in his chest, and he leans down so his forehead rests on one of Hongjoong’s collarbone, his hot breath hitting his skin. A shiver runs up Seonghwa’s spine as heat pools in his gut, both his hips and his fist moving faster, drawing out wet sobs from his lover and chasing his orgasm, want taking over him. He’d be lying if he said that every sound that comes from Hongjoong’s throat doesn’t make his skin buzz with something he can’t quite describe, pride, love, gratitude even, for having someone as perfect under him like this, for being able to turn him into a mess of tears and high-pitched moans, but also for being worthy enough of his trust to take care of him in his most vulnerable state.

With a breathless, strained call of Hongjoong’s name, Seonghwa’s body tenses, although he tries his best to keep thrusting into the smaller man as well as jerking him off, Seonghwa’s orgasm makes his vision go white and waves of pleasure make him shake a little, his come starting to drip down from Hongjoong’s hole. Hissing at the oversensitivity, he takes a look at Hongjoong only to see how gone he is: he’s drooling, barely making any sound other than tiny whimpers and his eyes are barely open. The taller man slows down a little, focusing on twisting his hand on every upstroke around Hongjoong’s cock instead. It isn’t long until he gets close again, shutting his eyes tight and spurting out some more come onto his stomach.

They are both exhausted, panting for air, taking a moment to breathe before Seonghwa pulls out and lays on the bed next to Hongjoong, who’s more and more close to falling asleep at any moment. Words aren’t needed, and Seonghwa takes one more deep breath before getting up, fixing his clothes and picking up wet cloths to clean his leader’s body along with soft, comfy pajamas, which he has to help Hongjoong put on since he’s half asleep and can’t really do it by himself, so he lets Seonghwa take care of him in silence.

When the taller is sure Hongjoong is clean and comfortable enough, Seonghwa tucks him in and turns around to go to his own bed, taking only a few steps before he’s stopped.

“Seonghwa.”

It’s quiet, barely there, but he looks back at the bed.

“Can you…” Hongjoong starts, drowsiness making it hard to find words, “sleep here?”

With the little energy he has left, Hongjoong moves his small body towards one side of the bed, making space for Seonghwa, whose heart melts in his chest. He can’t help but give him a soft smile, walking back to him and kissing his forehead.

“Of course, Hongjoongie.”

Seonghwa changes into his pajamas and gets under the covers with Hongjoong in no time, the latter immediately clinging to him and in only a few moments he falls asleep to the comfort of Seonghwa’s warm body next to him, thankful that he has someone he can rely on when he needs it the most.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my GOD it's been forever since i last posted something but i'm finally baaaaack<3 hope y'all enjoyed!! you can follow me on twt @lovebite_hwa if you want, thank you for reading!!<3


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